Sometimes everything just feels:

heavy,

overbearing,

weighed down,

never ending,

haunting,

suffocating.

Glazed and yet too bright.

Constrained and yet too free.

Sometimes I just feel everything

all at once.

It comes rushing forward.

Grasping me by the shoulders

and shaking;

vigourously.

But then the light surges forth

and everything feels:

calm again,

collected,

simple,

easy,

freeing.

like the light has come flooding back.

like dreams are possible,

and hope is real

sometimes a weight lifts

and I no longer feel

lost or misunderstood,

but

seen and accepted.

its rare, but wonderful.

The feeling of warmth

the gush of a gentle breeze.

Those moment of pure acceptance.

I don’t feel the need to

explain

or justify.

I just am

and that is ok.

by Ellie Jane

December

The twelfth and final month

The month that makes me yearn for my puddle soaked, mud covered, numbingly cold homeland.

The sun is beating down in the Southern Hemisphere:

Desert instead of snow,

Ocean in place of ice,

And yet it all feels so wrong.

I see cards decorated with snowflakes and polar bears in the shops,

And yet

It’s a lie.

It’s forty degrees and the sweat is dripping down my knees.

My complexion has always been as pale as snow,

But this is a step to far

I’ve turned into a real life snowman,

And no amount of festive cheer can convince me that melting in the sun is the way to spend Christmas

Preface

This is the first short poem within a series I am planning to write.
They all focus on a different sense and how they effect me as someone with ASD.
I will likely write a few on each sense but this is the first one.
It focuses on Light . . .

Light Through The Curtains

Bright lights dance across the ceiling

The curtain is only open a smidge,

but the sunlight zap onto my eyes.

making me squint and tuck my face back into the pillows,

which are scattered across my bed.

My eyes loathe it ….

Sunlight, bright light …

Anything above a dull glow …

The feeling of the warm sun

on my pale skin fills me with delight

Sunglasses are a must.

Lest I begin to rock,

or hum..

or just leave.