
Sometimes everything just feels:
heavy,
overbearing,
weighed down,
never ending,
haunting,
suffocating.
Glazed and yet too bright.
Constrained and yet too free.
Sometimes I just feel everything
all at once.
It comes rushing forward.
Grasping me by the shoulders
and shaking;
vigourously.
But then the light surges forth
and everything feels:
calm again,
collected,
simple,
easy,
freeing.
like the light has come flooding back.
like dreams are possible,
and hope is real
sometimes a weight lifts
and I no longer feel
lost or misunderstood,
but
seen and accepted.
its rare, but wonderful.
The feeling of warmth
the gush of a gentle breeze.
Those moment of pure acceptance.
I don’t feel the need to
explain
or justify.
I just am
and that is ok.
by Ellie Jane

December
The twelfth and final month
The month that makes me yearn for my puddle soaked, mud covered, numbingly cold homeland.
The sun is beating down in the Southern Hemisphere:
Desert instead of snow,
Ocean in place of ice,
And yet it all feels so wrong.
I see cards decorated with snowflakes and polar bears in the shops,
And yet
It’s a lie.
It’s forty degrees and the sweat is dripping down my knees.
My complexion has always been as pale as snow,
But this is a step to far
I’ve turned into a real life snowman,
And no amount of festive cheer can convince me that melting in the sun is the way to spend Christmas
The first of a series of poems …

Preface
This is the first short poem within a series I am planning to write.
They all focus on a different sense and how they effect me as someone with ASD.
I will likely write a few on each sense but this is the first one.
It focuses on Light . . .
Light Through The Curtains
Bright lights dance across the ceiling
The curtain is only open a smidge,
but the sunlight zap onto my eyes.
making me squint and tuck my face back into the pillows,
which are scattered across my bed.
My eyes loathe it ….
Sunlight, bright light …
Anything above a dull glow …
The feeling of the warm sun
on my pale skin fills me with delight
Sunglasses are a must.
Lest I begin to rock,
or hum..
or just leave.